Introducing Max Card

Max Card is a fantastic initiative in which foster families and families of children with additional needs have a discount card enabling them to obtain free or discounted admission into venues and services.  The aim of the scheme is to make enjoyable days out and learning experiences more accessible to families by ensuring that costs are reduced.

As a mum of a son with additional needs I was really excited to be accepted onto the Max Card blogging team.  My local council don’t currently issue Max cards so I am keen to give the scheme ‘a go’ so that I can promote it with first hand experience of the benefits that it provides.

 

I’m sure that many parents of children with additional needs will be familiar with the awkward conversations that occasionally occur when other parents enquire about any money or equipment that is given to help make day to day life that little bit easier. So that will be my starting point in this little series of blogs - how can a Max Card really help? Why shouldn’t every family be entitled to one?

The extent can vary, but all parents will agree that children are expensive.  The extent will vary, but all parents will agree that raising children requires a rearranging of priorities and for sacrifices to be made. Those are a given.  Often, unfortunately having a child with additional needs means additional expense and additional sacrifices on top of the ones that are already there, already faced, battled and defeated by most parents every day.  Additional needs bring additions in many shapes and forms.  It would of course be lovely if parenting in general could be made cheaper, easier and more flexible! But a very good place to start is by tackling the additional challenges acquired by families of children with special needs, and providing a level playing field wherever possible so that all children get to experience life to the full.

Many family attractions offer discounted entry if you book tickets a long time in advance or go on a certain day.  We tend not to be able to make use of these offers as we never know when our son is going to be in pain, unwell, or having a day where his tolerance of being around other people will be lower even lower than normal! This also means that there have been many times where we have arrived for a long anticipated day out and had to leave soon after arriving because his is not up for it.  The Max Card means that there are fewer time restrictions on the discounts available to us as a family, and if a day is cut short, less money has gone to waste.  Another thing that is becoming more popular are food vouchers or children’s snack/meal deals included in entry fees - both of our children are currently on medically monitored diets, so we are not able to make use of any of the free food and need to purchase their safe food (in advance) in addition, therefore a reduction in ticket price is a welcome advantage.

Time is especially difficult to juggle for families who have children with additional needs, and The Max card removes some of the difficulties involved, promotes the importance of time spent having fun and educational social experiences and recognises that all children need this whether they have additional needs or are the siblings of those with additional needs. 

I would definitely encourage families to make use of the Max Card scheme if their local council is part of it, and if not, spread the word to other families within your area and ask your council to consider providing this fantastic opportunity for their local families.

Ah never mind, he'll grow out of it.

Every parent will tell you that worrying is taken to a whole new level once you become a parent. Your level of responsibility shoots up so therefore, naturally, so does the amount of worrying you do. Perhaps this decreases slightly with the arrival of a second child because the factor of uncertainty has been taken away.

According to the latest Boots advert 61% of new mums wish they'd worried less. This is a fantastic subject for Boots to tackle (and a very clever marketing tactic!) because every parent will have an opinion to offer on the subject of worrying. So many of us also have regrets and things we wish we had done differently, and for a lot of parents this is the amount of time they spent worrying when they could have been enjoying time with their babies.

But worrying isn't all bad.

Perhaps it's the tone of voice in which it was said but the next part of the advert left me feeling a little annoyed.  The part where it is stated 'Even though they may have allergies when they are younger. It doesn't mean to say that will stay with them.'  This is of course completely true. If you look at this statement written down and by itself there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. But it is also the sentence that every allergy parent is sick of hearing.  For me, it's because every person who has caused my child to have a reaction or a near miss has at some point previously spouted words along the lines of 'Ah never mind, he'll grow out of it.'  For me it is also because the times that I have decided that perhaps I need to stop over exaggerating and worry less have been followed by a reaction or a near miss.

The fact that they might grow out of it doesn't mean the risk is less today. The fact that they might grow out of it doesn't stop them feeling left out at the party they will attend this weekend. The fact that he might grow out of it doesn't change the fact that at nearly five years old my son is still on Neocate feeds. Allergy parents have a reputation for worrying too much, and I think Boots may have just made this worse.

Worry to the point of regret is never a good thing, but for allergy parents worry can stop situations where the aftermath would involve nothing but regret.

DIY chalkboard wall stickers

We recently moved our elder boy into what was our study so that our boys could have their own rooms. We couldn't afford to re-decorate but fortunately the colour scheme was already black, white and grey (which he was really excited about as he's convinced it is light blue!), so we could work with it. I decided it would be nice to add something to one of the walls so I had a go at making some blackboard wall stickers, and I'm rather pleased with how they've turned out. If you fancy having a go here's the method I used...

You will need:
Book film
Scissors
Pen
Paintbrush
Blackboard paint


Method:
Step 1 - On the back of the book film draw the shape that you would like your sticker to be. I drew a freehand car but you could use a template of your chosen shape if you have one. (If the space where you want your sticker to go is a very presise size or unusual shape you might want to measure the space first so you can make the sticker to size).

Step 2 - Cut around your shape but leave a thick border (as in the picture below).

Step 3 - Turn the book film over so the shiny side is now on top and paint on the blackboard paint right up to the edges of the rough cut out (this will ensure that the paint is neat around the edges once you've cut out your actual shape). You might need to pin the film down to stop it springing up whilst you paint, I used a plastic tiger and a clothes peg...

Step 4 - Leave to dry.

Step 5 - Apply a second coat of paint.

Step 6 - Leave to dry.

Step 7 - Turn the book film back over so that you can see your outline on the backing and cut it out.

Step 8 - Peal off the backing a stick on the wall.

Now I just have to refrain from covering the whole room with them!

Life is not a matter or milestones, but of moments.

Sharing photos with family and friends within seconds of taking them, having a record of memories that may otherwise be forgotten, and showing off momentous milestones are just some of ways that social media has changed parenting. Social media is great. Social media can also be very isolating. When my elder boy was a baby I couldn't help but continually scroll through photos that friends posted of their children reaching various milestones, and long to be able to do the same - but even when a milestone was reached, it would often be done with tears and screaming and the end results were not really the typical social media worthy photos.

These days there are so many wonderful photo props available to use whilst we snap away at our little ones, however I often wonder how I'd have felt if these were around during the first year of my elder boys life. Most parents have moments where they wish they could go back in time and re-live stages of their children's lives, and I'm no exception. Development may have (and  may still be) happening at a different rate and in a different order to the children around him, but I wish I could go back to that first year and re-assure myself that difference doesn't matter.

This is what has driven me to create custom made moment and motivational cards. All of this has made me want to help families savour the moment and embrace the life they live whether that be because they have children with additional needs or due to other aspects where life hasn't quite 'gone to plan.'.  My cards are hand written and my aim is to word things in a way that is suitable for use with children with additional needs e.g. ' I used the potty today' instead of 'I used the potty for the first time' (just because it's happened once doesn't mean it's going to be a regular thing!).  You can find out more on my Instagram page under @just_a_stayathome_mum I hope you enjoy them.

Easter for Everyone

If you asked an allergy parent (or indeed an adult who has allergies or intolerances) to make a list of the things they find most difficult about having allergies, I am almost certain that celebrations and occasions would make an appearance. Here we are, already a week before Easter (how did that happen so quickly?!)  with thoughts turning to how we can ensure that loved ones with allergies are included in the celebrations whilst at the same time keeping them safe.  In our household, my husband is dairy and soya free and our younger son is dairy, soya, wheat and fish free.

The biggest challenge of all is often making sure that we include our elder son who has a super long list of allergies as well as suffering from fructose malabsorption. Because of these restrictions, his four confirmed safe ingredients are rice, chicken, sunflower oil and potato, and we are trialling small measured amounts of cocoa, corn and sucrose.  As you can imagine, this means that we often have to think outside the box when it comes to anything that involves food (including craft activities).

Two big traditions that typically aid the reflection and celebrations of the Easter weekend are exchanging and eating hotcross buns and Easter eggs. Here are some of the things ways that we will be trying to adapt these traditions in our home.

For my husband and youngest son I have got some free-from hot cross buns from Sainsburys, and for my elder son I am going to try and adapt my biscuit recipe into something that resembles a hot cross bun so that he doesn't feel left out...watch this space! 

I bought some packets of polystyrene eggs from The Works, and we have had fun decorating these with allergy friendly paints and marbling inks by Brian Clegg (read about them here). Some of these will be used as gifts for relatives and I'm still deciding whether to hang the rest up or incorporate them into our family egg hunt. We also used the marbling inks and Brian Clegg's gluten free glue to make our Easter cards.

Our boys are car mad at the moment and are particularly into Hotwheels so (although they are not very 'Eastery'!) I have been looking for some plastic eggs big enough to fit them in, and my husband found this tub of assorted plastic eggs in Sainsburys which are perfect.

We have been buying Moo Free chocolate for about three years, and to our delight they now make Easter eggs, hooray! These organic vegan Easter eggs are an estimated 100g in weight, are dairy, gluten, casein and soya free and look just like other shop bought eggs (they come in foil which is encased in a card box). The flavours that the eggs are currently available in are Original, Bunnycomb (Honeycomb) and Cheeky Orange (Orange). Another Moo Free Product which comes in really handy this Easter are their 'Mini Moo' chocolate bars which are a great size for wrapping up and hiding in an Easter hunt. For more information on ingredients, flavours, and stockists visit the Moo Free Website.

Easter can be a confusing time for any child - there is a lot of new life symbolism involved and I have been keen to try and keep this in mind when planning allergy friendly alternatives (perhaps I'm pushing it a bit with the Hotwheels though!) to try and avoid causing further confusion. One fantastic (and definitely allergy friendly) resource that I have been using for this is The Easter Poem booklet by the Bible Society.  Using great illustrations and simple words, the booklet tells the Easter Story and has been a great resource to use whilst trying to explain to my boys why we do the things we do at Easter.

So, there are my plans for an Easter for everyone in our house, I look forward to picking up some new ideas from others that we can use next year.

Every child is an artist, but what about children with food allergies?

Many of us will have childhood memories of excitedly presenting a picture or collage to somebody that we looked up to, and will recall waiting with anticipation for their reaction. Craft time was one of the things that I really looked forward to when I imagined having my own children, but the reality of it has been very different to the lovely Disneyfied bonding times I imagined! Toddler groups with my two boys has often involved trying to stop one from eating all the paint and glue on the table, whist trying to calm down the other who panicked about getting the slightest spec of paint on his hands before spreading more over his face in his anxious state. All whilst I was wondering what on earth was in the craft supplies we were using.

Both of my children have food allergies (my elder son only has four safe foods at the moment), and since being plunged into the world of allergies I have come to learn how much of a barrier allergies could potentially be to budding young artists.  Fortunately my children are unlikely to  have little more than a rash unless they actually eat the products that they are allergic to, but the nature of craft time with young children means this is not entirely unlikely. There are many warnings floating around about wheat in adhesives, soya in paints and so on, but how can we know for sure that our children are safe when we encourage them to paint us a pretty picture? Yes, craft products have a totally different purpose to food, but so do cosmetics and these are covered by labelling guidelines. Every child is an artist but what about children with allergies?

I strongly believe that every parent, teacher, children's group leader and youth worker should easily be able to find out what is in, or at the very least what is not in, the craft products we provide for our children. Getting information from manufacturers about the ingredients in their craft products has been so much harder than I thought it would be as most of them are rather secretive about what is used in their products (even after much reassurance that I wasn't trying to clone their products, I was just trying to keep my children safe!). A breakthrough came last year when I contacted Hailey from Allergy Adventures  with my predicament, and she really helpfully pointed me in the direction of Brian Clegg - a UK manufacturer of arts and crafts products.  Not only are their products fantastic but they guarantee that all of their products are free from the top 14 food allergens.

We have been enjoying the peace of mind of using Brian Clegg products ever since.  The good news is their range of products is as wide as those offered by other manufactures, from the ready mixed paints (that come in packs including fluorescent and skin tone), to glues, glass paints and fabric paints.  As with food substitues you would expect the catch to be in the price, but I was pleasently surprised that their range of products is no more expensive than other brands on the market.

One particular hit in our house has been the paint sticks which Brian Clegg sent us to try after hearing how well we had got on with their other products. The paints are in a tube which you can twist up and down and use just like a glue stick without the need for paintbrushes and water, making them ideal for when you want to do craft in a quicker, quieter manner.  My elder boy, has sensory processing difficulties and cannot stand mess, so the paint sticks have been fantastic when trying to including him in arts and crafts time and are by far his favourite thing in our craft box. In addition to paper and card, the paint from the sticks can be successfully used on wood, glass and some plastics so they are ideal to use when decorating gifts. As well as being available in classic colours, the paint sticks are also available in day glow and metallic colours. One of the hurdles I've faced when trying to persuade children's groups to purchase Brian Clegg products is the argument that if they are guaranteeing allergy friendly paints they will need to purchase new paintbrushes so it wouldn't be cost effective - the paint sticks have fixed this predicament for us (they can be used with no other materials needed), and at £3.99 for a pack of six paint sticks they are defiantly cost effective.

My hope is that one day other manufacturers will also see the importance of declaring such important information. My hope is that one day all teachers and group leaders will have ingredient information and guidelines readily available in order to keep our children safe whilst in their care. In the meantime at least we are making small steps forward. Next on our list to try are the Peel-Off Paints! You can get your Brian Clegg Supplies here.

Red dog, blue dog

Last November I had one of those moments where you want the ground to swallow you up as you feel your face burning and you know that your cheeks will be resembling the shade of a London Bus. We were in our local pharmacy waiting to collect all of the boys feeds and medication (I usually have it delivered but decided I'd take both boys to collect it for once - never again!) and as more and more people came through the door the pharmacy got noisier and more crowded.  I could tell Billy was starting to struggle and his urge to line up and re-order things set in. To my dismay the items he had decided needed the most attention happened to be  the very brightly coloured packets on the condom shelf.  I was trying to discreatly distract him and pull him away before too many people noticed when I heard an "Uh-oh" behind me and turned around to see Jo weeing in what seemed to be all directions, narrowly missing the display of Christmas teddies.

A few days after this eventful trip I received a text message from the boys' Godmother to say that she had heard about the incident in the pharmacy and had decided to buy Billy a colour matching game for his impending 4th birthday. 'Perfect' I thought, but I had no idea how perfect it would be.

'Red dog, Blue dog' is a colour matching lotto game by Orchard Toys. The game is aimed at children aged 2-5, is for 2-4 players and comes with 4 game boards and 24  cards (all appropriately sized for little hands).  The aim of the game is for the players to match all of the pictures on their board with the playing cards by taking it in turns to pick a card from the pile.  This game is great at teaching colours and words. Jo, being 2, loves the sense of achievement that he gets when he correctly announces  the colour and object that is pictured on the card he has picked. The game also encourages turn taking and is great for children with autistic traits who feel the need to order and organize.

Like most parents I love watching my boys play together but it doesn't usually last long before Billy's need for structure conflicts with Jo's desire to just explore and play, and I end up encouraging them to play separately.  Red Dog, Blue Dog has was an immediate hit in our house and facilitated peaceful playing between the boys from the start which was wonderful to see and be part of.  What I hadn't expected was for this game to become something that was still being played with every day, often several times a day, three months down the line. Whenever Jo wants to play with his older brother he knows exactly which game to get out, and I am so pleased that it has enabled them to find some common ground. Thank you Orchard Toys.

You can purchase this fantastic game here Here.