Swirly icing and beautiful bunting

I had it all planned out - the cupcakes would be topped with swirly icing and sprinkles of edible glitter and the room decorated with streamers and bunting,  all hand made of course.    Yes, before Billy was even born I was excitedly planning his birthday parties, but in reality they couldn't be any more different from the calm, pretty, handmade events I was busy imagining.  Billy's first birthday mainly involved us trying to convince him to stay downstairs with all of our guests whilst he continuously pointed at the stairs, desperate to be by himself.

Back in the summer Billy started asking for a party for his next birthday and all of a sudden birthday season is upon us again, Jo has just turned 2 and Billy will be 4 in a few weeks. For the past four months I've been trying to figure out how we're going to put on a party that is free from dairy, soya, wheat, egg, fish, fruit, vegetables and nuts, whilst taking into account Billy's sensory issues (children's parties and difficulties processing noise don't tend to mix!) and the fact that his poor immune system means he is usually poorly for most of autumn/winter. In my head I had all these ideals of how a party should be verses the reality of things that just won't be possible.

A huge sense of relief came when I read about someone buying their child a shop bought birthday cake because despite their best efforts homemade cakes just weren't working and weren't worth the stress they were causing on their child's birthday.  Reading this was like being given permission to stop setting the bar so high, to stop worrying about my ideal of how parties should be and just try and enjoy throwing a party that will be safe and fun for my boys and their friends.  With so many special requirments and things to consider there are some things that will take time and are bound to cause a little bit of stress/panic so I will compromise with something else - I can't just buy all the food from a shop, so because of this I will make all the decorations with the boys during the day and anything that can't be done then won't get done, they won't look perfect but we will have lots of fun making them.

We have decided on the following things to make the party less stressful and more enjoyable for us all:

• The party will be a joint party for the boys so if it gets 'too much' for Billy, it doesn't matter because Jo will still be there.
• We have hired our church hall so there is more space than if we were having it at home. 
• The main birthday cake will be a dummy cake made from polystyrene (the type they use for wedding fair displays).
• We will let Billy know the order of all of the activities and games and have a quiet area with ssensory equipment. 

I'm really looking forward to the party now and will blog about the details afterwards.  In the meantime I hope this gives other parents the 'permission' to relax that I needed.